Pirates and Ninjas
by M-Maltesers
Summary: Atobe doesn't know the meaning of the word 'moderation'. Strangely enough, neither do his team mates. Oshitari and Hiyoshi.


Notes: I asked a friend for prompts and was given 'pirate', 'pirate!ninja' or 'ninja!pirate', 'sniper' and 'giant chickens'. :l Thus we get this. Written in less than two hours and without a plot in mind. Luckily it turned out to be coherent. 8D

Summary: Atobe doesn't know the meaning of the word 'moderation'. Strangely enough, neither do his team mates.

**Pirates and Ninjas **

**By Miki  
**

Atobe doesn't know the meaning of the word moderation. Instead of having a normal Christmas party, as anyone else would have (a bit of bubbly, some streamers and balloons and the obligatory piece of mistletoe where Yuushi could corner a particular person), he decides to have a Fancy Dress Party. Anyone in costume not allowed through the front door, of course.

Apparently Choutarou decides to play it safe, and so that no one can possibly think he's decked out in something out of his everyday wardrobe, he turns up as a what Yuushi would like to label an Oversized Chicken Suit. Shishido, squashing through the doorway next to him, comes dressed as a ninja, complete with knives and sharp implements, which Yuushi thinks he should use to de-costume his doubles partner before he embarrasses himself any further.

Gakuto brings a girl, of course, who wears a Santa costume and almost manages to show as much leg as Taki does. And then there's Jirou, who's wearing a RikkaiDai uniform which he says is exactly the same as Marui Bunta's. He even has gum in his mouth which he pops consistently, until Atobe demands that he remove it because it offends his sensibilities as well as his taste.

But the highlight of Yuushi's night is without a doubt, the fact that Hiyoshi turns up late, and scowling. And because Yuushi's milling near the door, betting on the number of minutes before Choutarou smashes some champagne glasses with his tail or falls over someone with his feet, he happens to glance over at the new arrival first.

Black leather pants, thick-soled black boots, green haramaki, white t-shirt, bandanna of some sort... and... three swords.

Yuushi blinks and adjusts his glasses. What on earth is Hiyoshi dressed as? He feels as though the character (he assumes that's what Hiyoshi is) is one he should be familiar with, but he can't place it.

As he watches the other boy navigate towards him, brow creased in a frown of concentration and lips already pushed into a pout, he realises that Hiyoshi's probably going to end up rivalling Choutarou for the most broken crockery award before the end of the night. His swords look uncomfortable and are sticking out at the most awkward angles.

Even dressing as a giant turkey (which seems more seasonal than a chicken) would be easier, and warmer too, since Hiyoshi looks on the cold side.

"What are you supposed to be?" Hiyoshi asks the minute he lays eyes on Yuushi. He frowns as though Yuushi hasn't lived up to his idea of a fancy dress participant, and wrinkles his nose a bit as he examines him from top to toe. "You look like a ninja," he says.

"Shishido's a ninja," Yuushi volunteers, graciously gesturing towards him and restraining himself from commenting on the way Shishido's outfit is irritating him. Next year he might just dress as a ninja so he can have the satisfaction of throwing things at Shishido from a distance. The only satisfaction he's getting right now comes from thinking that Shishido's puffed up pants really make his arse look as fat as it normally is.

This year though, Yuushi's a sniper, armed with a toy BB gun and dressed in camouflage. His mother kindly offered to cut off some leaves from her greenhouse garden to stick on him, but the idea of wearing sticks didn't appeal to him.

He tells this to Hiyoshi, who doesn't seem to take it in and appreciate it, since his next question is:

"How come you're wearing an eye patch?"

Yuushi shakes his head. "Novelty. Besides, you can only look through the eyepiece with one eye at a time."

Hiyoshi looks undecided but ends up giving a shrug. "Whatever," he declares. "I'm Roronoa Zoro," he says, puffing out his chest a bit.

"Roronoa who?" Yuushi blinks.

"Roronoa Zoro," Hiyoshi repeats, giving him a dirty look. "He's from One Piece. He's a pirate," he frowns, as though Yuushi's completely stupid for not knowing that and any other number of facts about this character.

Then it clicks in Yuushi's head. He knows this character – he's from the same show as the irritating boy who stretches himself like a rubber band and the blond chef with disproportionately long legs and an insatiable appetite for cigarettes and lung cancer.

"Oh, I see," he muses, and touches his eye patch. He _feels_ a lot more like a pirate with his patch than Hiyoshi _looks_, saddled as he is with his three extra limbs.

"Wouldn't you have been better off as the chef?" he asks. "The one who goes around kicking people's heads?"

"Didn't want to be," Hiyoshi responds. "So where's Atobe anyway?" he asks, changing the subject.

But Yuushi isn't deterred enough to drop it. "You have the right hair cut for the chef, don't you?" he questions.

"I'll kick you if you say that again," Hiyoshi snaps. "And where's Atobe? I want to see what he's wearing."

Yuushi wonders if Hiyoshi's idea of 'gekokujou' even extends to costumes, and gives up trying to have a conversation. "He's over that way, somewhere past the giant chicken and the historically inaccurate ninja," he informs Hiyoshi, who seems to have suddenly noticed Shishido's costume properly.

"What the hell's he carrying?" he asks, hands on hips. "Is that a gun?"

"Probably," Yuushi manages to replies irritably, admirably not even looking Shishido's way to affirm the horrible truth.

"So," Hiyoshi pulls a face. He looks almost as offended as Yuushi felt when he first saw Shishido. "You're a sniper. Someone should shoot him and Ootori and put them out of their misery," he demands.

"You shouldn't encourage that," Yuushi snorts.

At the other end of the room, Choutarou has finally succeeded in knocking something over. It's not crockery, a waiter, or a pile of glasses though; it's Gakuto, and it doesn't sit well with the redhead apparently.

Hiyoshi tries his best not to look amused, though the pleased flush on his face somewhat gives him away. He crosses his arms and scowls. "They're all stupid," he says. "I only came because it sounded better than hanging out at home and Ootori said there'd be entertainment."

"Well I think you're looking at it," Yuushi sighs, putting a hand to his forehead.

Hiyoshi scowls some more, and Yuushi takes a moment to reflect on the fact that this is all bound to end up in disaster somehow.

He sighs and rolls his eyes up at the ceiling, unexpectedly blinking at the sight of something green hanging in the doorway of the room.

_Mistletoe_. The only piece of normalcy he can see in the room and he's standing under it.

It is, perhaps, the only compensation (other than seeing Hiyoshi's costume, which does actually grow on him) Yuushi finds on a night which turns out to include a food fight and the strange revelations that Shishido can actually throw his weapons, Hiyoshi can hold a sword between his teeth, and that being roasted is Choutarou's new worst nightmare.

Next year, Atobe declares the next day, weapons are to be left at the door.

.fin.


End file.
